Best Bets

Seeing as though Deevs hasn't done it yet I will post my best bets for the weekend.
1. Melbourne Storm off scratch-Although the Storm aren't playing that well their defence is very good. It is only a matter of time until their attack clicks and they fire. Tonight should be the night against the putrid Stewartless Eagles.
2. Geelong -start. They are giving away a massive start but should easily blow the Demons away by probably 100.
3. Hurricanes off scratch-Canes have been coming good lately and the Blues are very erratic at best. Canes should win at home comfortably.
4. West Coast off scratch-West Coast have been very competitive for most of the year and are good at home.

Past greats...undoing their good work

This is in relation to sports stars who excelled in their chosen sports but now are doing everything they can possibly do to destroy any good memories left of their success.

Rafter has not completely destroyed all credibility yet, but one more bonds add with Clarke will tip him over the edge. Stop now please !!! I really don't care how much charity work he does, Madonna does charity work also. So does that make it ok If I go steal some kids from 

Africa and feed them cardboard blessed by the elders of the Church of Scientology. He has earnt 11.1 million USD in prize money (not including other good sponsorship deals). He doesn't need to destroy my good memories of him by now hitting a tennis ball into Clarkies undies.

O.J. traded in running through defensive lines for slicing and dicing his ex-misses and her current squeeze. This guy was the first NFL player to rush 2000 yards in a season but will forever be known as the man who got away with murder only to be locked up for stealing back his own stuff. (slightly illegally though) 

                                                                                                                                                                             

        

I can't believe how much I used to love watching this guy play. That is all but a distant memory now. I have never seen any other star bite the hand that feed them as badly as Campo did and continues to do. He has not had a good word to say about Australian Rugby Union or its players for the last 5 years. Can someone please shut this bitter old man up ffs. It is getting ridiculous !! I hadn't heard from him for a while and read somewhere that he was living in Sth Africa or something (I feel 

sorry for them) but then his ugly mug popped up again on TV this week, I changed the channel swiftly and didn't have to listen his verbal diarrhea.  His own nephew doesn't even like him. He will be remembered for his constant criticism not for his goose step !!

The man who ate Diego Maradona. One of the greatest soccer players in the history of the sport. His career has had more up and downs since he stopped playing then the multiple cocaine binges he had from 1997 to 2004; When he finally got off the coke. He then turned to alcohol and clearly food, to help overcome his other addictions. He has recently took over as head coach of the Argentinian football team which I hope means he is stepping back in the right direction, but considering he has practically no management experience and his brain is fried from years of drug abuse then I wouldn't be surprised if he brings down this soccer super power. 

Australian Captains......

Walking around the plaza on Saturday morning, I am wandering through Myer and I was confronted with the following disturbing image plastered all over the place in the menswear section-








and this got me thinking- you want to be the next Australian cricket captain- here you are posing in YOUR FUCKING UNDERPANTS!!!!



It's one thing to be planning to wed a braindead blonde socialite but this is unacceptable behaviour for the leader of our national team- the position described as the second most important job in the country (and I'm sure a few PMs would've happily swapped jobs)



I said to my wife- you wouldn't have seen Allan Border poncing around like this- in fact- how would it have gone had an ad exec pitched such an idea to the original Captain Cranky, maybe after the World Cup victory in 1987- probably something like this-





AD EXEC-


So, AB, we thought you could make a little extra dough after the big win, y'know shoot an ad perhaps?


BORDER-


What, for Fourex? VB?


AD EXEC-


Aaahh, maybe thinking about Bonds-


BORDER-


You mean singlets and stuff?


AD EXEC-


Yeah, singlets and underwear- they're really trying to establish a foothold in the mens market-


BORDER-


Undies? Whaddya fucking mean undies? How do you expect me to sell undies for Christ's sake?


AD EXEC-


Well, you could model them-


BORDER-


Stand there in my fucking undies? Are you pulling the piss?


AD EXEC-


Well, you're a fit bloke- you might have to lose the rug on your chest.....


BORDER-


Do you want me to stick this bat in your arse?


AD EXEC-


Now AB....


BORDER-


You want me to shave my chest then model underwear? I'm the captain of the Australian Cricket team you fucking homo clown!!! What do you think Boonie, Merv and the rest would say? I'd lose credibility among my team and every red-blooded Aussie male out there!!! Not to mention what would happen next time I played the Windies!!! Not even Craig McDermott or Dean fucking Jones would do this!!! Now fuck off before I really lose my patience and impale you on this stump!!!



/throws stump as ponytailed exec ducks


I think that would be something like it.

Grubs...

With all the talk lately about the Grubs in League I thought I would name my top 10 Grubs in world sport. Again they are in random order.
1. Brett Stewart-Personally sabotaged the NRL's entire million dollar launch campaign by getting over friendly with his young neighbour. Apparently he has a girlfriend and apparently the neighbour didn't want to be touched by this grub.
2. Anthony Watmough-Massive niggler on and off the field who can't put a sentence together. Slapped/punched a Manly sponsor and couldn't understand why he got fined. GROW UP JERK.
3. Raphael Nadal-When Roger Federer was winning everything people still loved him, this greasy germ just gets on my nerves. Smart ass brat.
4. Michael Clarke-Would rather brush his hair and spent time with his bimbo fiance' than concentrate on his cricket.
5. Ben Cousins-May have been clean for a while but once an ice addict always an ice addict. Only a matter of time until he is caught shooting up in the dressing sheds.
6. Greg Bird-Who glasses their missus? Monster grub.
7. Harbhajhan Singh-Don't care if that's how you spell his 1st name because he shits me. Always sledging the house down and complains when it happens to him. Gets away with murder because Indian cricket controls the ICC. Also a chucker!
8. Christiano Ronaldo-Sure he can play but is grub no1 in soccer. Loves it when things are going his way but loses the plot when they are not. Loves a cheap shot and loves a dive.
9. Nick Darcy-Was a great chance for a medal at the last Olympics but instead decided to re arrange Simon Cowley's face with his fist. Refuses to apologise and keeps saying he is hard done by. If he was sincere in his statements this might have all been finished with but instead he has ruined his career. Oh and thugs shouldn't be able to represent the Green and Gold anyway.
10. Shayne Hayne-Not really a sportsmen I know but close enough. More arrogant than Bill Harrigan and without any personality. Loves to be bigger than the game!

Give me your thoughts on this list.

NSW origin

I think this 40 person squad is a joke. I think they are kidding themselves with some of the players they have picked, the players they have left out and the fact that they picked 40 people so many weeks out before the origin and then state that others are still in contention. Qld only pick 30 players and they haven't picked them yet either.

2009 NSW Blues Induction Day Squad

Peter Wallace - Will be halfback
Michael Ennis - Should be hooker
Josh Morris - Out injured. Not ready anyway.
Terry Campese - Will be five-eigth (I think Anasta should be in the squad somewhere though)
Joel Monaghan - Decent player - Don't think he is origin material
Alan Tongue - Legend but no chance in hell
Paul Gallen - This grub will play origin one and then be suspended for the other two. He better not be captain. Roid freak !!!
Anthony Tupou - Playing ok. Form not being helped by rubbish team.
Luke Bailey - Too old but will prolly be the other prop. (Not in the same league as Price or Civoniceva)
Anthony Laffranchi - Row or bench.
Mark Minichiello - Rubbish no chance
Brent Kite - Doesnt deserve it. Poor form.
Jamie Lyon - Doesn't want to play. Leave him out.
Josh Perry - Crap form this year.
Michael Robertson - Not a fullback. No chance.
Brett Stewart  - Injured. Had the fullback spot sewn up. 
Glenn Stewart - Will be in the row
Anthony Watmough - Red hot. Will be on the bench
David Williams - Good player but only played 2 games this year. Can't judge form.
Ryan Hoffman - Cry baby. Offers nothing. Kleenex.
Anthony Quinn - Hate him. Hope he isn't in the team. 
Ben Cross - You are kidding. No chance.
Kurt Gidley - Captain and fullback. Solid.
James McManus - Isn't he Irish or Scottish or something. Decent but not origin material
Jarrod Mullen - Injury prone
Luke O’Donnell - Should be in there somewhere. Play him as prop or something. No brain cells.
Jarryd Hayne - Wing spot. Apply ample amount glue to hands before game.
Michael Jennings - Form centre of the comp. Has to be there.
Luke Lewis - Playing awesome but hard to fit in.
Trent Waterhouse - Same as Lewis. Good year but hard to push out O'Donnell, Watmough, Stewart and Laffranchi.
Colin Best - Rate him for the wing. Not completely convinced though.
John Sutton - Great player. Definited chance due to versatility. 
Matt Cooper - Will be one centre.
Ben Creagh - Will get injured before the origin. Don't bother picking him.
Justin Poore - No chance
Michael Weyman - Should be one prop. Can fight.
Mitchell Pearce - Wallace is playing better and doesn't look like a sumo wrestler. (See his face ?)
Robbie Farah - Already discussed. Ennis better !!
Keith Galloway - Not bad for a ranga. Good form. Chance.
Chris Lawrence - Him or jennings should take out the centre spot. Or possibly on the wing.

Omissions
Anasta - Standout in a team with too many egos.
Hindmarsh - Has to better then some of these players picked. But I guess there are too many good (younger second rowers)
Ryan - Awesome form for the Dogs and a true leader. Should be in there somewhere. Prop maybe (fat enough) ? 

Soward - Has to be a shot now. Red hot.
Douglas - Sharks prop. Young and good. Start blooding some young props. Only way to compete for the future. 
Scott- Dragons centre. Can play anywhere. Good form.
Wing - Great utility. Pretty boy but can play.
Gordan - Must be a chance for the wing spot. Can kick and doesn't drop the ball.

Golden Shambles

Why do we need the golden point? What’s wrong with a hard fought draw?

We take the piss out of soccer that ends world cup finals with a shoot out and then we watch a great game ruined by ten minutes of dummy half runs leading to a half-assed attempts at field goal.

Alleged Best Bets for the weekend

Time to throw out some random best bets- the Tahs atrocity and the Storm getting beaten by the Tigers really shows how futile this exercise is, but I got the best bet of all time right -the Dragons only giving 4.5 to the quitting Eels- and the upset pick-Crows over Hawks, so here goes- (home teams in caps)
COWBOYS(-3.5) over Eagles- An on-the-road Manly without Brett Stewart? Only 3.5? Really? Sign me up!!!
Titans (pick) over PANTHERS. The Panthers should still be getting start off the comp leaders, even if it is at Bogan HQ, CUA Stadium. There will probably be three more weeks until the bookies and punters give the Titans the respect they deserve. Or more likely, I'll fuck this pick up and they'll go on a three game losing streak
SPECIAL THREE TEAM PARLAY Take the 1.30 on Brisbane against Parra, into Souths paying 1.60 against the putrid Sharks into the Saints paying a generous 1.65 to bounce back against the Roosters. Pays 3.60. You can add massive value to this by taking the upset of Bulldogs paying 2.20 v the Raiders to kick it up to a positively juicy 7.75
BULLS (-3.5) over Chiefs- Bulls are tough to beat over there, and while I like the Chiefs, 3.5 is not enough to get in South Africa against the best they have to offer
Brumbies (+8.5) over HURRICANES The Brumbies having been in good form, and eight is a lot of start to get- so take it.
St Kilda (-4.5) over PORT Port are pretenders and the Saints will sort them out this weekend. Also, the Hawks continue get way too much respect, giving the Eagles a ridiculous 21.5 start. I dont care if the Hawks are at home, they shouldnt be giving anyone three and half goals start at the moment.