Walking around the plaza on Saturday morning, I am wandering through Myer and I was confronted with the following disturbing image plastered all over the place in the menswear section-
and this got me thinking- you want to be the next Australian cricket captain- here you are posing in YOUR FUCKING UNDERPANTS!!!!
It's one thing to be planning to wed a braindead blonde socialite but this is unacceptable behaviour for the leader of our national team- the position described as the second most important job in the country (and I'm sure a few PMs would've happily swapped jobs)
I said to my wife- you wouldn't have seen Allan Border poncing around like this- in fact- how would it have gone had an ad exec pitched such an idea to the original Captain Cranky, maybe after the World Cup victory in 1987- probably something like this-
AD EXEC-
So, AB, we thought you could make a little extra dough after the big win, y'know shoot an ad perhaps?
BORDER-
What, for Fourex? VB?
AD EXEC-
Aaahh, maybe thinking about Bonds-
BORDER-
You mean singlets and stuff?
AD EXEC-
Yeah, singlets and underwear- they're really trying to establish a foothold in the mens market-
BORDER-
Undies? Whaddya fucking mean undies? How do you expect me to sell undies for Christ's sake?
AD EXEC-
Well, you could model them-
BORDER-
Stand there in my fucking undies? Are you pulling the piss?
AD EXEC-
Well, you're a fit bloke- you might have to lose the rug on your chest.....
BORDER-
Do you want me to stick this bat in your arse?
AD EXEC-
Now AB....
BORDER-
You want me to shave my chest then model underwear? I'm the captain of the Australian Cricket team you fucking homo clown!!! What do you think Boonie, Merv and the rest would say? I'd lose credibility among my team and every red-blooded Aussie male out there!!! Not to mention what would happen next time I played the Windies!!! Not even Craig McDermott or Dean fucking Jones would do this!!! Now fuck off before I really lose my patience and impale you on this stump!!!
/throws stump as ponytailed exec ducks
I think that would be something like it.
I dont think Pat Rafter should be put in any sentence with that "Punce" Clarke. Rafter does a lot of charity work and doesn't just think about himself. Also has much more ticker than Clarke and is retired so he can do what he wants.
ReplyDeleteI actaully think Border would have taken his anger up another notch from that Deevs. Maybe a crisp left on the snoz at the mention of modelling.
Did AB even wear undies?
ReplyDeleteRafter undid all his good work when he filmed THAT ad with this flea. It makes me vomit every time I see it. Surely the least Bonds could have done was superimpose a chest on the germ...
ReplyDeleteI blame tubby Taylor for starting the commercial slide with the commercials. Ricky Ponting continued it, degrading himself, by dressing up as a deoderant can and this is just the next step down the slide. Next stop tampons.
ReplyDeleteCashy