Sport or No Sport?

There has been a lot of conjecture in some sections of the media about the efforts of Tom Watson is the British Open, and whether it has been a good or bad thing for the sport of golf. Obviously, it would have been one of the biggest and more inspirational stories in sports had he completed the job, but many critics of golf say that it's not really a sport and golfers aren't real athletes. Having a 59 year old with an artificial hip go within an 8 foot putt of winning a major helps the critics argumant in a big way.

In my opinion, golf isn't really a sport, it's a pastime. But I also believe that golf gets too much of the flak in this whole concept of "What is a sport?". Many "sports" are really pastimes, games or physical activities. I think there are some criteria that determine which sports make the cut such as-

1. A ball. Running, swimming, cycling, rowing etc are all physical activities. They require little tactics, and very little co-ordination or skill outside of the ability to train 18 hours a day, have no personality and no social life. Fuck that. The only exception is boxing because that's really the purest sport of all- two blokes beating living piss out of each other. That shit rules.

2. A scoreboard. Diving, gymnastics, figure skating, ballroom dancing. All physical activities, all winners determined by dodgy judges and all for homos anyway. Not a sport among them. Again, boxing gets a pass because if you haven't knocked them out by the end, bad luck.

3. Sweat, and lots of it. Not just on hots days either. If you don't need to have a shower straight after the game, it's a game, not a sport. Lawn bowls, golf, ten pin, none of these are really sports because you can play them and booze up afterwards without even getting changed ,let alone showered. Actually, all of these can be played WHILE drinking, which is awesome, but not very sporty.

4. No wheels, horses etc. In order for it to be a sport, you need to be supplying the energy for movement. You need to be standing up and running around. Due to the fact that they don't involve balls, they don't count anyway. Motor racing would be heaps of fun, but they're basically glorified taxi drivers. Jockeys only qualifications are being starved midgets.

5. A criteria that others often cite is whether it is a TV sport. That's bullshit. Just because its on ESPN or Fox Sports DOESN'T make it a sport. Bad argument, after all, poker is on these channels all of the time, and as much as I condone, nay, LOVE gambling, its not even close to being a sport.

So thats the list- agree or disagree?